out there somewhere?

It’s hard to determine a “healthy” relationship these days. This does not have to be a reference to a romantic relationship, but really any type of relationship.

Sometimes I feel like it would almost be better without being so close to someone to have a relationship with them consistently. I know that I myself would not face the world alone, but I would not want to have any attachments. The time to oneself is for freedom, and for development of the person. If there is something present that would hold them back, what room do they have to grow?

Of course a good friend will stand beside you and help you in times of need, but they also respect privacy when one needs it. Is there a friend that you have that seems to feed off of your life for their own satisfaction? I didn’t mean to say it like that, but you know what I mean. Like, it’s for their benefit. Their life revolves around you.

It isn’t “healthy” to pry, and to restrict one from their wants. It isn’t “healthy” to know every single secret, or thought of a friend. When someone is trying to run your life, you know that there is something that just is not right.

This has been a problem for me lately, and I know of other people with the same problem of determining what exactly a “healthy” relationship is: A friend that had seemed so perfect at first turns out to be the biggest liar in the world, and ultimately leaves the other in pain; a recovering alcoholic that seems to be working hard and becoming a better person suddenly moves away and returns to old habits; all of these hurt. Those that are giving this pain to friends act as if nothing is wrong. Obviously, there IS wrong.

Now if we are talking about romantic relationships here, we’ve really got some issues. A friend that I have has a coworker that she says is who she wants to be when she is older. This woman has a husband, and a child, and every week they have a designated evening for dressing in their pajamas and playing with Legos. Her face lights up and she giggles whenever she hears her husband’s name. It is evident that she loves her family, and that she is perfectly content. What’s her secret? Can we have good relationships that will make us feel this way? That’s something I would like to know.